By Emma English. Original entry can be found here.
I love Twitter. It’s instant. I can express myself. I can expose my own stupidity, assist others and get assisted. I get admiration and a confidence boost. I know a lot of men and ladies enjoy my social media; even my family overseas occasionally read it (to make sure I’m not dead, apparently) but the boundaries must be defined and redefined.
Before iPhones had the ability to block numbers it would be frustrating to receive messages from men (punters) who were constant pests. There was nothing as an independent business person you could do. Occasionally I would give the threat “I will publish your number online if you don’t stop harassing me”, which would generally stop them but sometimes you would have to go through with the threat (all numbers would be removed as soon as the punter knew I wasn’t joking and he would retract his behavior).
Now with the block function messages can be permanently blocked but there is still the temptation to expose bad/dangerous behavior or even good behavior.
However what industry acts like this and gets away with it? Most companies have social media guidelines in how they represent the company directly or indirectly. Sex workers are our own bosses, the rules are non-existent because we are in an industry that is either illegal/criminalized/not respected/not accountable/immoral/stigma/etc.
The sex industry is built on discretion. It’s not my style to post pictures of gifts, talk about how amazing a punter is, tell the Internet world how ‘busy’ I am, and live tweet bookings. I expect the same in return. This is because I don’t want anyone knowing my movements. I shouldn’t be producing any photographic proof of my movements. I also don’t want to encourage any behavior where a punter feels like he should have to bring me a gift, or a competition between the best gifts as it could breed jealousy or a sense of competition.
The fee required for the booking is all you need to bring and of course repeat business is the best gift you could ever give a sex worker. Knowing that you had a great time and wish to repeat the experience breeds a sense of pride and accomplishment. What happens in a bedroom stays between us – which is why I don’t understand why people write reviews!
I have no issue with posting information online about rogue clients – but I also don’t take it lightly and the positives must out weight the negatives. It is a deterrent and also lets other punters know what behavior isn’t acceptable.
Arriving late to a booking, a no show, not following booking etiquette isn’t a reason to make punters identity known. However refusing to pay, pushing for unsafe sex and threats are behavior that shouldn’t be tolerated. There are of course Facebook groups, forums, emails etc where women share this information.
Other sex workers don’t think it’s wise to post details of rogue clients because they might change their number or do revenge attacks. Rogue punters are not stupid and they know sex workers have ways to share information. Not all sex workers are part of these groups – I had ask to be invited. Lots of rogue punters also don’t have access to Twitter accounts.
There is no absolute wrong or right in any situation – but don’t treat rogue punters as stupid. They buy disposable SIM cards and can’t be traced. All sex workers can do is be vigilant. I am however aware I am in a state where sex workers mostly do outcalls to hotels so I am not inviting anyone into my home. As a legal, registered, tax paying sex worker who has nothing to hide from my family, I have nothing to fear about going to the police or exposing your illegal or dangerous behaviour.
Of course there are times when I deflect bad behaviour by making a joke. One guy asked me to take coke with him all week, so I made a joke that I was only interested in real coke, not the coke with Stevia or diet coke. Haha! Or when you get random messages like “hi” I will reply with a random quote from the bible (would you expect anything else from a former catholic school girl!).
I hate having to talk about rogue punters, 99.9% of punters are wonderful and you cause no threat to my peers or me. It can paint the industry in a bad picture and perhaps turn off some punters. However it helps to write about topics and produced a balanced viewpoint that makes me accountable for my actions.
Hope you enjoyed reading and would love to hear your comments.