Escorts And Social Media

By Emma English. Original entry can be found here.

I love Twitter. It’s instant. I can express myself. I can expose my own stupidity, assist others and get assisted. I get admiration and a confidence boost. I know a lot of men and ladies enjoy my social media; even my family overseas occasionally read it (to make sure I’m not dead, apparently) but the boundaries must be defined and redefined.

Before iPhones had the ability to block numbers it would be frustrating to receive messages from men (punters) who were constant pests. There was nothing as an independent business person you could do. Occasionally I would give the threat “I will publish your number online if you don’t stop harassing me”, which would generally stop them but sometimes you would have to go through with the threat (all numbers would be removed as soon as the punter knew I wasn’t joking and he would retract his behavior).

Now with the block function messages can be permanently blocked but there is still the temptation to expose bad/dangerous behavior or even good behavior.

However what industry acts like this and gets away with it? Most companies have social media guidelines in how they represent the company directly or indirectly. Sex workers are our own bosses, the rules are non-existent because we are in an industry that is either illegal/criminalized/not respected/not accountable/immoral/stigma/etc.

The sex industry is built on discretion. It’s not my style to post pictures of gifts, talk about how amazing a punter is, tell the Internet world how ‘busy’ I am, and live tweet bookings. I expect the same in return. This is because I don’t want anyone knowing my movements. I shouldn’t be producing any photographic proof of my movements. I also don’t want to encourage any behavior where a punter feels like he should have to bring me a gift, or a competition between the best gifts as it could breed jealousy or a sense of competition.

The fee required for the booking is all you need to bring and of course repeat business is the best gift you could ever give a sex worker. Knowing that you had a great time and wish to repeat the experience breeds a sense of pride and accomplishment. What happens in a bedroom stays between us – which is why I don’t understand why people write reviews!

I have no issue with posting information online about rogue clients – but I also don’t take it lightly and the positives must out weight the negatives. It is a deterrent and also lets other punters know what behavior isn’t acceptable.

Arriving late to a booking, a no show, not following booking etiquette isn’t a reason to make punters identity known. However refusing to pay, pushing for unsafe sex and threats are behavior that shouldn’t be tolerated. There are of course Facebook groups, forums, emails etc where women share this information.

Other sex workers don’t think it’s wise to post details of rogue clients because they might change their number or do revenge attacks. Rogue punters are not stupid and they know sex workers have ways to share information. Not all sex workers are part of these groups – I had ask to be invited. Lots of rogue punters also don’t have access to Twitter accounts.

There is no absolute wrong or right in any situation – but don’t treat rogue punters as stupid. They buy disposable SIM cards and can’t be traced. All sex workers can do is be vigilant. I am however aware I am in a state where sex workers mostly do outcalls to hotels so I am not inviting anyone into my home. As a legal, registered, tax paying sex worker who has nothing to hide from my family, I have nothing to fear about going to the police or exposing your illegal or dangerous behaviour.

Of course there are times when I deflect bad behaviour by making a joke. One guy asked me to take coke with him all week, so I made a joke that I was only interested in real coke, not the coke with Stevia or diet coke. Haha! Or when you get random messages like “hi” I will reply with a random quote from the bible (would you expect anything else from a former catholic school girl!).

I hate having to talk about rogue punters, 99.9% of punters are wonderful and you cause no threat to my peers or me. It can paint the industry in a bad picture and perhaps turn off some punters. However it helps to write about topics and produced a balanced viewpoint that makes me accountable for my actions.

Hope you enjoyed reading and would love to hear your comments.

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Reviews – The Flip Side

By Constance Azura. Original entry can be found here.

It has been said that a WL’s review can take her career straight to the top. Put her name on the map and get herself noticed. I remember when my first review went up, I was ecstatic, thrilled and could not have asked for anything more. Then the second, third and many more, each one giving me the confidence knowing I really did meet expectations if not surpass them, and the once shy and withdrawn me, found a drive and passion to excel and succeed with my newly found path in life.

As much as the expressions and opinions of others gave me a big boost of confidence, I never thought how much it would actually affect me mentally and emotionally. To the point where it makes a massive impact on everyday decision making, the way I felt and saw myself, and realising how much I actually believe those opinions to be true and probable not only to the reviewer but every reader and commenter also.

Sometime last week I read a reflection on an encounter that had been long planned, by months. Preliminary communication was constant, dedicated and the suspense of finally meeting was high up on the pressure bar.

The evening itself had already set a high bar, the feelings of anticipation not making it any better, the Friday evening bumper to bumper traffic made it even worse with the icing on the cake having to deal with issues on the personal side of things.

What I thought was a pleasant and enjoyable evening was not the case when the apparent truth came out. I read descriptions of my character as being ‘common’, ‘vulgar’, ‘simple’, ‘fake’, Highlights of the evening being ‘the champagne’ and the low points ‘not worth even talking about’.

I still tortured myself by reading it about ten times over, each sentence burnt and engraved in my memory never to be forgotten. I believe every word he’s written and I have begun to self sabotage. I would be interstate and I won’t advertise a tour, I hide at home most days and think about how disgusting and ugly I am and doubt myself more and more. Thoughts would follow and I would just ask myself:

“Who am I kidding? Who are you?”
“You’re nothing but a disappointment not worth thinking about.”
“You’re not worthy”

I guess with the positive praise I have received over the years, I can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. But I just want to say that as much as I appreciate praise, I need to also be set for some that are perhaps not so nice to read or hear about.

But as a reviewer, if you should feel so strongly about an encounter that did not meet any goals and expectations, I would want to know that is the case and not be led to believe that the evening was enjoyable, fun and positive with a courtship that was honest. To find out months later that it wasn’t the case, that your date was actually disgusted, bitter, disappointed but yet still happily continued past the agreed four hour duration instead of ending it earlier due to conflicting personalities ..

Let’s just say it was not an easy piece to have read, especially when you thought differently. But it also made me realise how much of an impact it really does makes on your psyche so much that rather than an informative piece for a forum I believed it to be somewhat of a gross misjudgement of me as a person that was rather one sided.

Point of what I’m trying to say is, everyone is entitled to their opinions and it as their experience, but words really do hurt. We are merely sensitive mortals at the end of the day.

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