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FKK The Palace Frankfurt (Parts 1 & 2) - Natasha, Vanessa, Sally, Gabbi, Linda, Bine, Olympia & Julia





Once upon a time, the Devil heard of a lad called AndyJ and of his acts of debauchery and decided to pay him a visit.




Knock, knock!


Devil: “Hello Andy, as you may guess from my appearance, I am the Devil”.


The Devil was sporting a red tan, a goatie, a pair of horns. He was also carrying a trident to dissipate any doubts about his identity.


AndyJ: “Hello Mr. Devil; what can I do for you?”

Devil: “Oh, Andy… You have served me very well lately. I’ve been reading your reviews of your European trip and I’m very proud of you… so the question is: What can I do for You?”


“Nice bloke this Devil guy” AndyJ thought, since apart from making the effort of reading his long, self-indulgent reviews, he had come all the way from Hell to be at his service. He also figured that since they would spend eternity together in Hell, and curious as AndyJ is, he could ask the Devil to give him a glimpse of Heaven while still alive.


Devil: “Are you sure you can take it Andy?”

AndyJ: “And why couldn’t I?”

Devil: “Well, as it is now, you don’t know anything about Heaven… hence, you won’t miss it the day you join me in the Netherworld”.

AndyJ: “But I would hate to spend eternity without that knowledge, Mr. Devil”.

Devil: “Hmm, I don’t know, Andy. It would be cruel even for my standards to do something like that to you”.

AndyJ: “I beg you, Mr. Devil. Please give me a glimpse of Heaven while I’m still alive. A glimpse will surely be better than nothing at all”.

Devil: “Are you sure, Andy?”

AndyJ: “Of course, I’m sure!… please bring it on!”

Devil: “Very well Andy… but don’t tell me that I didn’t warn you!”


Right there and then the Devil snapped his fingers and vanished in a cloud of sulphur. After the cloud dissipated and some coughing, AndyJ found himself in Frankfurt’s Hauptbahnhof (Central Station) and from then on he could see the Devil no more, yet he could still hear him.


Devil: “Okay, Andy, now go down and take the Metro. You must go to Industriehof and when you get off, walk up the road in the same direction for about 200 metres. Turn left as you see a sign for The Palace, then first right and it is 50 metres up on the left. Got it?”

AndyJ: “Yeah, got it”


It took AndyJ circa 15 minutes to get there, since he first had to take line 4 from Hauptbahnhof and then change to line 6 or 7 to get to Industriehof, but he certainly got there with no problems. Without hesitation AndyJ walked in, paid 65 euros, was given a rubber bracelet with a locker-key and a couple of towels to dry and cover himself. He quickly put his things in the lockers (there were two of them, one for the clothes and another one for the valuable items, such as wallet, etc.), had a shower and stepped into the lounge where before his very eyes there was Heaven. But so strong was the radiance that from the beautiful Angels emanated, that AndyJ just got to see a little glimpse of it before being blinded by the powerful light. However, sightless (and penniless) as he remained, AndyJ would forever remember the mighty vision of Paradise.


Don’t you love fatalistic fables? I thought that from Goethe’s town, I ought to write a review with a Faustian touch.




Okay; in all honesty it was more than a glimpse, it was 2 lovely days of sheer fornication, and everything what they say about the FKKs, the praises, the hype… it’s all true. At least this FKK is the closest thing to Heaven on Earth I have ever seen.


I arrived at 3:30pm and left at 8:30pm. That period of five hours started by me making myself a sandwich and getting some fruit juice, coffee, etc. Something I would repeat often to recharge my batteries in between romps. It was a comfortable way of studying the scene without being pushed by anyone. Their website is http://www.the-palace.de/, so you can see photos of all the rooms and the layout of this place (click on “Ground Plan”).


What the website doesn’t show is the presence of guys wrapped with towels walking around the big lounge, but you simply forget about them, after a little while the brain does not register any male presence other than your own and hence any inhibitions you may have worried about beforehand are gone. What remains is the presence of naked and semi-naked girls who hang around the place with the same elegance and grace of a beautiful fruit ready to be taken off the tree.


If you’re planning to make the best of your stay, like I actually did on day 2, maybe 3:30pm is not the best time to arrive. You will miss on lunch and you’ll only have whatever food is left, and mind you, there wasn’t much left when I got there. In any case, lunch consists of a cold buffet but overall pretty good quality food.


It was however, a Saturday, so that means that it will be busier than weekdays, yet you won’t have any trouble finding a big selection of girls since early hours. Once I felt I had had my lunch and coffee, I ventured into the TV-Room. I wish I had something like that at home: a big screen and cushy rows where punters sit Roman style to watch porn. Mind you, the first thing I noticed wasn’t the movie but a girl just openly giving a BBBJ to a guy (they even went on with sex in there). I sat and tried not to look when a pretty and friendly girl came and sat next to me.




Natasha is in her twenties, has straight shoulder-length dark blond hair, blue/green eyes. She’s probably a size 10 or less and has nice perky C-cups. We started chatting, switched to English and explained to each other where we were from. She is not from Kiev but from another city near Russia. Once we knew a bit about each other we started getting extra friendly and soon we were pashing. We could have continued right there and then but Natasha offered me to go to the room next door and I thought that as FKK beginner it would be a better idea to do so.


Once inside the room, silly me explained to Natasha that I had my wallet inside the locker. She laughed and with that gorgeous accent she exclaimed: “Mmonee later… ddon’t wory nnow!”. As it happens, over there it’s normal to pay the girls after the fun. Once you finish, the girl escorts you to your locker and you pay her. They generally give you a thank-you kiss once you do so, and you and her walk separate ways to the respective shower rooms.


Anyway, after more pashing with Natasha, she slowly went down on me. I did notice her very subtle way of checking my tool for any irregularities before taking it inside her mouth. Now, this girl knows how to give a BBBJ… and believe me, not all of them do. Once she had me close to explosion, she asked me if I wanted to come inside her mouth or inside her. I chose inside her, and sorry guys, the menu would remain pretty much the same for me during my two visits there. If you go, you can certainly try whatever crosses your mind but I was more than happy shagging as many beautiful girls as I could, as you will see as you read on.


After the BBBJ, Natasha produced a condom that she put on me with her mouth and jumped on top. We went through a couple of positions and finished doggy style. Notice that I did not go down on her. I simply didn’t know if it was included in the standard service; actually I was beginning to worry since I did not discuss about money beforehand. I didn’t want to be up for a nasty surprise but nope; in the end it was only 50 euros, which is the basic fee. That normally includes a half hour of BBBJ, DATY (as I found out later), any form of vaginal sex (or, I guess, finishing in their mouths), and in 99% of cases DFK too. Not bad for 50 euros, which is approx. AUD $80. I should add that most girls look gorgeous too.




Once I kissed Natasha goodbye, I went and had a shower, made myself another sandwich and had some multivitamin juice to get back into shape. I also went to the Spa and stayed there for a little while. The funny thing about the Spa is that guys seem reluctant to share it. It is as big as a small pool, yet in my stay, there was only one moment when another guy, a Japanese punter, felt comfortable to join me… always keeping his distance, of course. Yes, I am not a big fan of seeing willies floating in the water but in reality the same happens when we’re wearing bathing suites, the willies are always there, we just don’t see them! LOL.


Once I was back at the main lounge, another gorgeous blonde approached me, and introduced herself as Vanessa from Russia. Vanessa is also in her twenties, has wavy light blond hair, blue eyes. She’s probably a size 8 and has nice perky C-cups too. As we discussed later, she would look lovely in a night black dress and high heels. Vanessa let me know that she was Natasha’s friend and that I had been highly recommended by her. Something I would observe later is that girls tend to group themselves by language. You have a Russian/Ukrainian group, a Polish one, a Cuban/Domenican one, a German one, and so on.


I have to say that after meeting Vanessa (and having into account Natasha’s extraordinary performance during my second visit), the award goes to the Russians/Ukrainians. Hands down, those gorgeous women know how to keep their feminine charm and give the best BBBJs you can get. Vanessa gave me a fantastic service. Still silly me did not venture with DATY but she didn’t give me time to even think about it. Lovely girl who only works weekends, and who after finding out that I’m single, she flattered me by saying that she would happily take me. She gave me a nice massage and we had plenty of pillow talk. Absolute charmer!




I was told by Vanessa that at 6 o’clock it’s dinner time and that many punters come specially at that time so they eat. After the exercise I was, needless to say, pretty hungry. Food at the FKK has nothing to envy to the one they serve at pubs around Frankfurt. Nice Goulash, good Schnitzels… warm and hearty food to recover yourself. Unfortunately not wine or beer to wash it down, but it’s actually a good thing that the only alcohol available is the expensive bottles of champagne that come with a deluxe service. You really wouldn’t want to throw cheap beer into the equation. Without it, men remain polite and fit to attend the main objective of their visit, which is good sex.


The only problem during dinner is finding a table where to eat, since it’s busy indeed. So, I sat with same girls and among them there was one who had caught me looking at her previously. She was gorgeous, one of the most beautiful girls in the whole place and I had seen that she walked around with so much confidence, you would think she was the owner of the place. But in reality, she was one of the youngest (between 18 and 22), most beautiful, and above all she was German, so it was natural for her to feel at home. She was Sally from Cologne.


Sally is a toned size 8 with an overall tan, black wavy hair, eyes as blue as the sea (a fabulous contrast with her tan); B or C-cups and over 170cm tall (sporting a pair of 12cm high heels on top of that). I told her that she looked German to me and she took it as the biggest compliment I could pay to her. She even told the other girls around the table about it. My comment was a casual one and not meant to be a compliment but I have noticed that some German WLs feel superior to their Eastern European colleagues. Silly but it wasn’t the moment for AndyJ to get politically correct about it. A few kisses and we agreed with Sally that I was going to fuck her after dinner and some coffee. And so, after dinner and a little bit of a rest for the food to go down, Sally took me to a room and after more pashing, she gave me a BBBJ, not bad but shorter than the ones I had received from the other girls. However, fucking such a stunner while you look at those eyes and kissing her made the job too easy. Later as I kept seeing Sally walking around the lounge, I kept thinking how on Earth it has become so easy to shag such beautiful women these days. Years ago I would have looked at her on the street and thought she’d be unattainable. Girls like her certainly were unattainable to me when I was of her age… then again maybe not to older guys with more money.


After shagging Sally, I decided that I had had enough fun for a day and after relaxing at the Spa and promising some girls I would return for them, I left. I left Heaven (The Palace) to go back to Hell, as my hotel was located right in the red light district. Once there, I walked past the Eros Centres, such as Das Rotes Haus or Der Leierkasten. I couldn’t help wondering why men keep walking in and out by thousands, when you have places like The Palace. I know I was one of them the day before but with all certainty never again. So, my friends, stay tuned for Day 2 at The Palace because it gets even better!





After my eventful first day at The Palace in Frankfurt, I felt like exploring other FKKs. The following day I thought of visiting one in Cologne, but despite a fast train links the two cities in only one and half hour, the return ticket was something like 100 euros. So, the choice was between me going to Cologne and reviewing a FKK that nobody here had been to, or going back to the Palace and have two additional shags for the price of the train ticket. Not surprisingly, I favoured the second option.




In the end, that day I decided to have a break and go back to The Palace the day after, which was a Monday. I did want to make the most of my entry fee, so I decided to go early enough to have lunch, and naturally stay until after dinner. I have decided that The Palace was the best place to spend my last day in Frankfurt… and I was ready to get those 65 euros back in food, fruit juice and coffee, and if you pay attention to prices in Frankfurt, the objective was quite easy to achieve. So, with that purpose in mind, I arrived around 1:30pm just on time for lunch, which basically consists of a selection of cold meats, ham, fruits, etc; all good quality stuff. If you asked me beforehand what was my view about eating in a brothel, I’m not sure what I would have said, but the truth is that the FKK looks and feels more like a holiday resort than a parlour, so any preconceptions go quickly through the window.


In all honesty, I knew I was going to get laid but I wasn’t sure of how much money I was ready to spend on that. I took my first visit as a guide and took more or less the same amount of cash; however, inside me I knew that as my farewell to Europe I would probably want a little extra fun. I knew there was an ATM inside the FKK (though later I would also find out that it’s of no use to overseas bank cards).


Pacing was very important too. If I wanted to make it until dinner, I knew I had to pace my shags (also because I’m not eighteen!). No problem, I could do that or try at least. While eating I saw Natasha from the Ukraine, or I should say, she saw me. Now, this lovely creature, as the first WL I met at the FKK two days before, pretty much came to claim her “regular” status. She knew I had had a good time with her previously, so it was only normal that I wanted to book her again. She and a friend came and sat with me during dessert and coffee. Despite there were so many girls I wanted to see, in reality I had to book Natasha again. It was the responsible thing to do; good service has to be rewarded somehow and if you ask me, I’d say that a return visit is the best form of reward. However, remember what I said about pacing; so after a while I let Natasha know that with all certainty I was going to book her a bit later, as soon as the food went down.


I left Natasha and friend and went to the Spa for a while. The place wasn’t that busy. There were fewer punters and fewer girls than on the weekend but I was assured that a bit later the place would get crowded again. Naturally, I only cared about the girls, not about the punters. I had asked Natasha for her Russian friend Vanessa but was told that she only works weekends. So, I imagine that quite a few girls do the same.


Once I had had enough of the Spa and felt like attending my pending business with Natasha, I went looking for her. Unfortunately, another punter took her right in front of my nose. Not the end of the world, I wasn’t going anywhere else anyway; so I got a coffee and sat at a table to enjoy the moment. The silhouettes of naked girls casually resting around the place conjured this image of Paradise once again. It is in moments like those that one ought to be happy with his life; though, it hasn’t always been like that (nor one should assume that it will always be)… If only the espresso was real (it was Nescafe) and if they only had something like a pool or fussball table to entertain you while you’re not fucking or eating, it would be Paradise indeed; Men’s Paradise at the very least. Yet the girls look as relaxed and happy as the men. I guess that for them it’s a case of either liking that work or not being there at all. The way it should be.





While I was having my coffee, I noticed that a blonde with short hair came and sat just within my visual range, two or three metres away from me. I looked at her but I did not want to stare; after all, I was taking it easy, I had Natasha short-listed and I had to wait at least five hours until dinner.


Now, this girl was in her late twenties, early thirties, good-looking but not a stunner; pretty face with blue eyes and good body with a tan, yet with short hair, which is one of my pet hates in women. Nothing would have indicated her as my next punt, particularly if you consider the offer around. But the flesh is weak, and Gabbi, as that was name, knew how to play her cards. I noticed that she turned her back on me and reached for something behind, leaving her lovely round butt in direct contact with my eyes. Right there and then I knew she did it on purpose, so I decided to pretend I wasn’t looking when she turned back around. However, my mistake was to quickly check back on her right after. That’s when she was looking at me with a smile; she caught me and laughed about it. She won. Naturally, we established a conversation that soon turned into kissing and groping, and then into pashing, and then into going into a room. Gabbi gave me a good BBBJ and we shagged in different positions until I came. I would remain in touch with Gabbi throughout the evening. She was lots of fun to talk to, and a good source of info about the place. It seems that she’s been there for a while.




I wish I had written this review earlier because now there’s a little bit of a blank about what I did in between girls, but believe me, I did different things indeed, apart from drinking fruit juice and coffee. I arrived there as I said at 1:30pm and I actually left at 10:30pm, so I must have administered my time pretty well. Later on there was also a show with a couple of strippers, or rather than strippers, exotic dancers, as they never ended up matching the WLs in their birthday suits. Just lots of sensual dancing around a big motorbike that was standing next to the main bar, at the centre of the lounge. It's funny when all girls are naked, how you pay attention to the ones who have some form of clothes on top. One of them was to die for; unfortunately she wasn't quite available for things other than dancing.


Anyway, after Gabbi and some rest, I caught up with Natasha as planned. You can see Natasha’s description in Part One of this report. It was obvious that as my second time with her, she was giving all of her… but wait a second… I could have said the same of my first time with her; after all, the pattern was pretty much the same, kissing, BBBJ, etc. But nope, there was something different, impossible to describe or itemise, and I felt so comfortable that I decided to go down on her without asking if it was included in the price (and yes, it is included as part of the standard 50 euros as I found out later). Natasha welcomed the oral on her with great joy and then we moved on to sex. As far as service goes, that would probably be the best I got in my entire visit. So, I’m more than happy that I saw her again. My loyalty was rewarded with perfect GFE.




I think that after Natasha, I took a break, even went to the Finnish Sauna where the temperature reaches 90 degrees. Never been inside one of those before and wasn’t sure of how long I should stay there but it felt great. I saw that there was a big bucket of cold water to throw on you right after but I opted for a normal warm shower instead (Chicken! Chicken!).


Back in the lounge, I saw this girl with massive natural boobs approaching me. Now, I like boobs but I don’t go mad about them. I actually don’t care about boob sizes but Linda would drive tits lovers absolutely crazy. Not sure what size where they, double E if that exists. It felt like each one weighed a ton; poor girl, imagine having to walk around always carrying that weight. Anyway, as for the rest, Linda is a 170 cm tall brunette with long straight hair, blue eyes, pale skin and very thick lips (naturally thick and very soft). The funny thing is that practically she came straight to pash me and we kissed for what it felt an incredibly long time. I even heard some girls giggling about it nearby, so I thought we’d better continue in a room. What I love of the FKK is that you get a bit of a sample at the intro stage; I imagine that if you decide not to proceed with the booking, everything’s cool anyway. I did keep my distance in other cases where I knew I wouldn’t book but I imagine that some guys wouldn’t be too concerned about it.


Linda’s BBBJ was great; those thick lips are indeed special. I naturally went with a bit of Spanish action to make good use of Linda’s assets. When we switched to sex, Linda offered me to continue with Greek for 100 extra, as that was her “speciality”. It was damned tempting but 100 euros equalled to two more shags. There were so many girls I wanted to get acquainted with (in fact I left the place regretting not being able to shag some of them) that I have to turn down Linda’s offer. I would have tried Greek for 50 extra but 100 was definitely a bit much, yet it depends on your agenda. I had a good time with Linda even without Greek; no problem finishing doggy style while she fingered her own butthole.




Well, forgive me because after Linda, I went into a warp zone again yet I remember something. I was in the Spa, recovering, so I wasn’t able to go with anyone, not yet. I probably only had 50 euros left in my wallet, so I had to be careful. Anyway, as I was contemplating my course of action for the remaining of the evening (dinner wasn’t that far by then), an ace of light and beauty blinded me for a second, it was Grace Kelly’s ghost; I swear it was good old beautiful Grace, same face, same hair style, same class and elegance and that was the first time I saw her. I looked at her from the Spa but she didn’t look at me. The Spa seems to be taken like a sanctuary of sorts where soliciting does not take place. She was anyway, busy with her text messages. The light reflected on the water and then on her, made her perfect for a Kodak moment; unfortunately I didn’t have a camera (actually I did inside the locker but I doubt they would let me use it; by the way, mobile phones are not allowed either, at least not for punters).


As I saw that Grace was having a moment to herself, I left the Spa and soon it was time for dinner. As I was queuing for the food, Natasha came to hug me good-bye since she was leaving. Very nice of her as she could have left without saying anything but she’s such a nice girl; I would book her again anytime if I could.


During dinner I got to meet some new girls. Beautiful Sally spotted me, and I told her that I would be seeing her (shagging her) later. I told the same to another pretty German girl. Actually any beautiful girl was up for the same response. I really did want to fuck them all; unfortunately it wasn’t quite possible. However, it was also during dinner that I met Bine.




Now, I had noticed Bine before during my first visit as she was one of those Germans who walked around the place with absolute confidence. Bine is in reality half German and half Sicilian, and nature has been generous with her by giving her the best genes of both nationalities. Tall, blonde, blue eyes, fit, athletic but with olive skin and a curvy Mediterranean butt… the sort of physique you see in places like Argentina due to pretty much the same reason: the mix of European nationalities. She’s definitely in her thirties but keeps an amazing body. She turned out to be much friendlier than what I imagined when I saw her walking around, so, as Grace Kelly had disappeared from my sight, Bine became my dessert.


I told Bine that she’d be my fourth girl for the day, she looked surprised but promised to do her best to get me over the line. She started with a vigorous BBBJ and I asked her to switch to 69. She basically shoved her pussy in my mouth… and I love when girls do this without hesitation and plenty of confidence. The thing about 69 is that sometimes the angles don’t help for you to do your best tongue work but I’m sure she had her fun. Sex was good and energetic and we finish doggy style bouncing on her lovely arse. She’d be the perfect mattress.


Like Gabbi, Bine has been working there on and off for quite some time and she also was great to keep having the occasional chit chat later on. I did ask Bine if she has ever seen any Australian girl working there and she said she hasn’t. I really don’t understand why, there are girls from almost everywhere; it would be like paid holidays for them.




As I finished with Bine, Oh my God… I saw Grace Kelly again. I couldn’t go directly with her besides I have no more cash left. I tried the ATM but learnt that it did not work with overseas bank cards, at least not with mine (which it was probably a good thing since there was a 5% surcharge with every withdrawal). However, one of the receptionists came to my rescue and told me that there was a normal ATM around the corner and that they’d let me go out and come back again if I wanted to get some cash. So, I dressed and went for more cash. As soon as I left the place I contemplated not going back; I had had four shags, a great day, wanting more was just plain greedy; I was still within budget, and above all, there was no certainty that my body would cope with more successfully. Everything indicated that the right course of action was going back to my hotel and getting some rest before catching my flight. And that was precisely what I did not do. I went back to the FKK. The vision of Grace Kelly was far too powerful for common sense to prevail.






So, I went back in, also with more money than the one I really needed, got rid of my clothes, had another shower and off I went looking for Grace. Unfortunately, she was nowhere to be seen… she was, as one would expect, a very popular and busy girl… but I thought that she might have gone home, after all it was a Monday. It was around then when I saw young Olympia, whom I had promised to shag her during my first visit and now it seemed like the right time to honour my word. (The things you have to promise in this place!)


Originally I thought that Olympia was Greek because of the name but actually she was Romanian. Brunette, petite, a toned little body and a lovely face with the darkest eyes I’ve seen in ages. She is a Chloe Maxwell lookalike and I have no trouble admitting that I’ve always been partial to nice old Chloe. The only reason I had not shagged Olympia during my first day was that I had already been with three girls and she remembered that; so, when she heard I had already been with four this time, she thought business was doomed; however, being petite and young as she was, I felt pretty confident that I could tackle her.


Now, take this as a good piece of advice for your visit to any FKK, don’t close business with the girl unless you get a sample of the merchandise (some kissing, groping, etc.). From Olympia I only got conversation and some smile before we went into the room. I don’t know if it was her youth but her BBBJ was far too rough, for moments she made me hurt. Also she’s one of those girls who like to be in control of the actions, and generally me too, so we had a problem there. The problem got bigger when I realised that for kissing she wanted 20 euros extra. At first I decided to continue without kissing but when I saw that little AndyJ wasn’t joining the party, I decided to pay. Basically, after such a great day I didn’t want to end up with such an anti-climax. After that, yes, she did kiss me like there was no tomorrow and sex was as easy as predicted. I guess a place like this wouldn’t be real if there was absolutely no glitch during my stay.


While shagging Olympia wasn’t as good as I had imagined, it wasn’t bad either. However, I was well aware that it was my final act of debauchery of my European trip, and I wanted to finish with a bang… ironically, one punt less and I would have had it with Bine, but this experience with Olympia did not deserve to be my last memory of The Palace and such a great day of fun.




I just did not want to go but at the same time, there was almost no semen left when I finished with Olympia. So, I just sat there at a table, not knowing what to do, drinking some multivitamin juice, when the sky opened and sent me an Angel… I swear I could see a halo around her perfect silhouette. There she was, Grace Kelly’s ghost coming straight towards me, smiling at me, like she knew exactly that I wanted to fuck her all along and she had been playing hide and seek with me.


In reality, she’s Julia from Romania and maybe she doesn’t have a clue about who Grace Kelly was, but she looks just like her and she has something that looks like a thin Japanese inscription tattooed along her spine. I don’t think Julia spoke much English but my German had improved significantly, so I was able to chat to her. I was upfront and told her that five girls have been there before her and that if she could wake up little AndyJ, I was hers (yes guys, I am that cheap!). One, two, three, four, five seconds of kissing and her hand grabbing little AJ in front of everyone, had me back from the dead.


Inside the room, more DFK, BBBJ, DATY and the wettest of sex I can remember in years took place. Once I crossed the line, I just stayed there lying on top of her like not wanting to go anywhere, like not able to go anywhere; that was happiness and it was exhaustion too, but happiness above all as she gently squeezed any possible drop I could have had left in me.


After Julia’s goodnight kiss I left with the sort of ending I really wanted. I am not giving up punting, not yet… but if I was to do that, this is the sort of swan song I would like, and if for any reason I’m not able to have it, I will always remember this day, this place and these girls; possibly the best Monday of my life.

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