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Forums....Opinions......and Words On a Screen !!!



Well what a week its been, an enlightening week? yes in more ways than one, disappointing week? in every way possible, a week I wished was over? Oh Hell YES!


But its been a week that has lead to the writing of the following,




Forums are a valuable commodity, no matter what they are based on, health, sex, social groups, parenting etc. They allow us to tap into a world of knowledge from all facets of life, the views of a 20 year old are different to those of a 33 year old, the views of someone of from india differ from those of someone who is from china, etc, either way, they are are way tools we use to help us formulate our opinions, beliefs, thoughts, or even in general simply answer a question we might have.


But as with any kind of medium, news papers, television, its important to remember that, the responses to a question asked or a topic placed for discussion, are the opinions of another the thoughts of another the beliefs of another etc.... and while you may or may not agree with that opinion, that is your choice, just as it is their choice to believe what they choose to believe, as the saying goes


"Each to their own", now, there are times when a comment or response contains false, or incorrect information, so at some point someone will correct them, whether it be you me or the next person so that the person making the post can give correct information the next time the topic is brought up. When this occurs it can cause us to be a lil red faced especially if it was an obvious blunder.


So with that in mind, we move on to the next part, Opinions.


We've all heard the saying (well hopes we all have) "opinions are like assholes....everybodies got one" no truer words have ever been spoken, you don't have to have an opinion on everything but I'll garuntee you have an opinion on something be it politics, child raising, legal drinking age a million different things, but one thing opinions have in common apart from us all having one, is that we all like to think that based on facts, experience and observation the opinion we have formed is the right one to have, not all topics have a right or wrong answer, some do some don't, its the ones that don't that cause debates, because what one person believes works best another doesn't. A persons opinion is a beautiful thing, because it can when delivered properly unlock and show to the outside world that persons raw passion for something. So when someone expresses their opinion who are we to say that the person is right or wrong? Whether they are a good or bad person? For instance I believe in euthenasia, being made available to those who, are terminally ill and set to suffer slow and painful deaths, we put our pets to sleep when they are too old, to have any quality of life until they pass or are too sick to be healed, with surgery or medication so why not give people the same option no matter what age you are young or old do you want your friends and family to have to watch you suffer as your body battles an illness that is terminal? I know I don't want to put my family through that sort of distress, nor do i want to live out my dying days (when it comes time obviously) with no quality of life, being what i would feel is a burden to them. But back to the point this is MY opinion on the topic, and there are those out there who will disagree with my thoughts and views, on the topic, there are those who will feel the same and those who are stuck in the middle undecided about how they feel.


So when someone does voice an opinion, it is up to us as individuals how we view WHAT is said, HOW it is said, and WHY it has been said, it is also then up to us as to whether we take that persons opinion and consider it. The opinions we listen to with the most value to us as individuals are those with a view point we have not considered before, these are the opinions that have the power to make us re-evaluate what our views on a topic are, if we do change our opinions based upon anothers view point, thats our choice, and if we don't that too is our choice.


Another thing to remember when it comes to opinions is that there is a difference between stating an opinion, and making a factual statement.


An example of this is someone has made a post about colours and shades, and the differences and someone comes along and posts black is a colour, joe blow comes along a few minutes later SEES the comment and states his opinion, but at the same time corrects the error, by stating black is not actually a colour but a shade........he isn't telling the person his belief is wrong on the differences between what a colour is and what a shade is, simply, he is providing correct information to the person making the original statement, and any others who may have classed black as a colour.


There are 2 things to take note of with this example, 1, Joe Blow is NOT stating an opinion, he is stating a fact, and 2, there is NO ill-intent within the comment.


Another point that seems to be forgotten when it comes to the world of forums, chat and the online society, is that we live in a free world where we are as entitled to our opinions and the ability to voice those opinions, and in most countries to form our own beliefs, its called freedom of speech as the next person. So when we post our opinions in public, we then leave it open for others to comment upon what we have said, whether the comments made on what we have said are doing at least 1 of 3 things, making a correction, agreeing with what we have said, or disagreeing with what we have said, either way what you post in public, is open to being commented upon. However, when you respond to something that has been said about something you have said, be mindful that 1 you are not going to become a hypocrit, or be seen as holding the attitude of well its ok for me to comment about something specifically, but not ok when someone else feels that the comment was not so much wrong, just ill thought out and making light of what is an otherwise serious topic, and secondly that you do not put words into the persons mouth. Also, before you respond be sure you have read the comment at least a few times so that you know you haven't misunderstood its intention, or read more into whats being said.


And here in brings us to the final part of this blog.... Words On a Screen


I can't begin to even count the number of different issues with the written word when it comes to mis-interpretation.


When an opinion is voiced, from one person to another, in the same room, via speech as opposed to writing, we are able to draw upon many other "tools" to decipher what the speaker is trying to ger across, those things include tone of voice, body language, context, emotion. In the written word we lose the use of tone of voice, and body language, and to some extent emotion, however the emotion can still be present, but again is open to missinterpretation. The point is without the ability to utelise 2 of the key, elements to interpretation and understanding, we are left to using guess work, and the majority of the time unless we really know a person and can draw upon the knowledge of their personality, their demeanor, etc.... we will infact mis-interpret the intention the emotion and the reason behind what was said and why.

Even just misreading, what is written can, change the entire context of how the comment is viewed, and percieved by the reader.



How we react to an opinion that is written, is influenced by different factors, our mood, the words used, the way it is written whether by hand or typed the use of capitals can and does signify, excitedness, anger, they can also be used to simply emphasise a word.


Just as certain words are "loaded" words, and used to convey context, attitude, emotion, etc...


The point is we have ALL found ourselves at some point or another mis-interpreting something that was written......and reacting and responding incorrectly.


And last but not least, when someone comes to another and says oh blah blah blah, on such and such is happening how they convey what is happening can have a large impact on how we react to something.

Whether its to publically make a fool out ourselves only to find out later on, that had we looked more closely and or waited until, we were in a better frame of mind, our reaction would have been completely different.


Now, having said all of that, I am sure many of youreading this understand fully why I felt the need to write this blog, have I reacted to something in such a way that has made people question me as a person? ummmmm yep *nods* in a huge way yet I am judged and ridiculed for the mistake made as opposed to my actions afterwards.......

Am I the only one who has ever had an off day? over-reacted to something? reacted without fully getting all of the facts? and not just here I'm talking about any and all situations.

Anyone who says they haven't is not only lying to the world but also to themselves, for that would make them the "perfect" Human Being, and we all know none of us are perfect.


Where is written in stone that person A is allowed to comment on person B's post, but person C is not allowed to comment on person A's post?


Where is it written in stone that, person C is not then allowed to point out that not only has person A turned her self into a hypocrit, but also put words into person C's mouth and jumped on board person D's wagon?


I thought this was an adult website? A place where adults acted like adults. I look at some of the responses in some of my posts, and I truly wonder,

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Yes I agree Angel I have had many a misunderstanding of the written word recently cost me time with a very nice lady. I tried to explain but to no avail. I had a 12 month fight with my sister over a comment and i have had a no talking thing with my son over my opinion so it can be very frustrating thing when your words are misconstrued.

I have learnt that if I want to get my point across it is better to write anonymously or wait for face to face!

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