The inner mind of Taylor Alexander !!!
Maybe I have way to much time on my hands....but considering a few things I have read lately.........
I started to think about the interactions I have with punters,how I see my encounters and why I get the type of punters I do.
I don't know about others, I can only speak for myself..... Over time I have come to realize the people I seem to attract are nice but naughty....funny but deep. It never ceases to amaze me how much the guys share with me on a personal level about their lives,their secrets and how they tell me that for some reason they feel very comfortable with me in a rather short period of time !!!!!
Which makes me wonder why?? What is it about me that seems to be able to do this to guys? Why do they on a majority feel that they want to see me again and again....... Is it because for a moment in time forever how long that lasts between them and I ...that I in some way treat them like they are my lovers...my friend ... My partner to which we explore each other not only on a physical but mental level.
When I am with someone I do actually care about them..... I don't see them as a bank, a means to an end. I am interested in them as a person.
I am interested in what they seek and why they seek what they do..... I don't think if in our time together, if they didn't speak to me and look at me with interest... Have passion and fire.. I would ever see them again !!! Yes I'm not stupid, I do know that they in the start seek me out on a pleasure principle .... A fantasy,a person to explore their sexual satisfaction with .
But it always end up with a different experience with a lot more emotional connection than they or I expected......
I don't feel like I am a vessel to which they use to get their rocks of with.......
I have this fire in me to evoke pleasure...to please...to entice , I feel a need to take it to many levels , a very personal adventure for us to take.
Is this wrong of me to do...... Considering that at the end of the day I am an escort . Do I go a little to far with it..... Should I pull back and see them as punters....not friends....not lovers for moments in time?
I know the need of touch.....of pleasure...of intimacy..... I see it in their eyes, that they need it. For I am human too i need those things as well.
I am aware I play this game on a different level than some do.
They tell me they feel they can trust me, and they tell me why they play this game....what in their lives have lead them to this path..... I end up feeling honored they would share that private knowledge with me.... I have found that the men I see are not just roving testosterone freaks ..... I am finding that I get to see men on a different level..... That really we are not that different even though we are two different sexes......
That men do need emotion , connection and passion...... Not just a woman to be their jerk off tool !!!!!
At a base level.... Do I ultimately do all this to feed my ego ??? To be seen as a sexual need? To be wanted? Am I the smartest person for making money out of an enjoyment?....... I am slowly finding these answers the more I play this game.
One thing I do know is why I am a private escort Vs a parlor girl...... I could never stand in a line parading like a sexual fashion show....having a buzzer going off like some sort of sexual cake that is baked...done....finished.
This in no way in my mind makes me better or worse than girls who work in parlours...I actually think those girls are strong emotionally...maybe even more so than I . I respect their choice in how they work.... I just know I couldn't do it, it's not for me.... It's a choice thing that is all, I wish to play on my terms,my rules and in my style.
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