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Turning the tables on extras


Henry1

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A thread posted on the old forum about the dreaded extras (extras like death, taxes and prostitution would seem to be always with us). I tried to bring a more light hearted approach to the subject in reply to the well known Crystal. :)

 

 

 

I think that everyone would recognise me as a punter on here, but it is probably not widely known that I have worked full time as a male escort in the past (strictly for women only I hasten to add, just in case Wolfie is reading this). I still see a few long term regulars, but these days it's just a bit of extra pocket money for my punting funds.

 

My web site is here

 

www.hornyhenry.com (no longer active)

 

Just purely out of interest.... Say it was you ( the men ) working in a parlour, what would you charge extra for, bearing in mind you will get women of all race, age, ugly, fit, sexy, smelly comming(sic) in through the door.....

 

 

There seems to be 2 questions involved here Cristal

 

1. What are a typical male escort's views in regard to extras?

2. How do male escorts handle ugly or unhygienic clients?

 

In regard to the first question, my website clearly states that "Any payment is in exchange for my time only. Anything implied or inferred within should not to be taken as inducement for payment for anything other than time and companionship. Anything else that may take place is a matter of personal choice between consenting adults and it is not contracted for, nor is it requested to be contracted for in any way."

 

Given that statement, it would be ludicrous for me to charge for an 'extra', unless you wanted a longer time.

 

Also, I'm a bit of a softy at heart, and given my rates, I really feel that trying to gouge some additional cash on top of the outrageous price that I charge would not help me to sleep well at night, despite the fact that they are dumb enough to pay prices like that in the first place.

 

Would you charge an wrinkly old woman with no teeth to be able to kiss you??

 

If you're talking fugly (aka a brown paper bag job) then no, I wouldn't charge extra (see above). I just close my eyes and pretend that I'm in a state of ecstasy. Last piece of advice is "Don't look down". Some of the best blow jobs I've had are from women with no teeth. At least they don't scratch your cock with their teeth, and they find it hard to stop the cum dribbling out afterwards.

 

Tits down to her knees? No problem. Well you perty upstanding girls out there don't know what you're missing. You've obviously never had your clit and nipples licked simultaneously. You have to experience it to believe it, based on the feedback I've had.

 

Would you charge for a woman to have the privalage(sic) of sucking your cock??

 

Whose privilege is that? Hers or mine? I'd prefer a gummy suck though.

 

What about a womans(sic) bits that stank to high heaven, would she have to pay for you to lick her out??

 

This is really the second part of the question.

 

Cheesy cunts? Again not a problem. I'll let you into a little trade secret here ladies. I fill up my lube bottle with hand sanitiser. When I come across a smelly cunt I just reach for the 'lube' and give the cunt a bit of a wipe and then remove any cheesy bits with a tissue. I feed them some bullshit about how the 'lube' is special and will make them more sensitive and give them a more intense orgasm. There's a mug punter born every minute. I also use it to give my dick a wipe before she goes down on me. It's amazing what these dumb punters will believe, but they reckon that it tastes just like normal lube. :lol:

 

But ladies. Please pay a bit more attention to your hygiene before you come and see me. Make sure you wash 'down there' well. Even if you don't shave your pussy, please shave your arsehole. I've seen some hairy dates in my time, and there is nothing worse than a hairy arse for attracting dingleberries. Also make sure that you pay attention to your feet. I love to suck toes, and I recently couldn't work for a while because I had gone to town bareback on a client who must have had a fair amount of toe jam. I was off for a couple of weeks with oral athletes foot. I now provide rubber socks for this, as my health is important to me.

 

On the question of safe sex, I always insist on it. I always use a dental dam to pleasure you. OK, OK, I admit it. I've sometimes forgotten to do that in the heat of passion, when I'm pissed, or if you are a hot babe. That must make it about 95% of the time that I forget about the rubber fetish. :lol:

 

What if the woman was mega fit, would you let her do what she wanted with you for no extra charge??

 

Fit or not, I just don't charge extras (see above).

 

Some things are not mentioned on my website, so please feel free to PM me. I also do fantasies such as:

 

1. Westie - I dress up in stubbies, ugg boots and a wife beater, and abuse the shit out of you during our time together.

2. North Shore Silvertail - I dress in an expensive suit during our encounter. It is only about one hour after our meeting that you realise that you haven't had any decent sex. But girl, you sure know that your ego has been stroked.

3. Bikie - Leathers and chains. I spend the time watching league on the telly while you bring cans of VB from the fridge. The session climaxes when I piss all over you.

 

If those don't take your fancy, please contact me with suggestions. My normal experience is a true BFE. That is a BFE in the Aussie sense, so please understand that after I climax, I get up and wipe my dick on the curtains, lie back down, fart and then start snoring.

20 Comments


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Henry1 , that is gold brother Gigolo , I just spent the last 10 mins laughing my hairy bum off ......I especially like the true BFE , except I don't have curtains but those modern wooden slats.....might rough up the old memberohmy.gif lol smile.gif

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Xx Cristal-hotbabe xX

Posted

This made my morning Henry, started my day off with a giggle xx

 

Xxxx

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After i break rupe's gigolo cherry, would you be interested in a double booking with rupe and me? ph34r.gif

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Taylor Alexander

Posted

Lmao !!!!!!! You need a member subscription.......then you can say no to the smelly ones.

 

By the way (hand sanitizer) now that's what I would call a fire and ice special service....lol

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Henry, that's just a classic.

 

I am picturing Dan Aykroyd's sketch off the old Saturday Night Live - "Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute".

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Nothing pisses a woman off than wiping your dick on the curtains Henry. LMAO :lol:

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henry so when can we start doing doubbles and under charge for our over climaxed experiance. your pleasure is my passion www.cabanaboy.com call me we should work together. LOL

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Lil Cowgirl Elle

Posted

Henry you are just seriously my favorite punter on PP.

 

You rock soooo friggin much it ain't funny!

 

xox Elle

(Henry's #1 fan)

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call me we should work together. LOL

 

ohhh can we do triples with rupe??

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This made my morning Henry, started my day off with a giggle xx

 

Xxxx

Well, that's good Crystal. So glad you liked it.

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After i break rupe's gigolo cherry, would you be interested in a double booking with rupe and me? ph34r.gif

 

I'm strictly a one on one person FB. The sight of other dicks in the room makes me go limp. BTW, are you ever going to tell me what name you work under and where you work?

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Henry you are just seriously my favorite punter on PP.

 

You rock soooo friggin much it ain't funny!

 

xox Elle

(Henry's #1 fan)

Never mind the flattery bitch. When are you going to book a session with me? :P

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Thank you everyone else for your comments. I can remember that when I first posted this on the old forum, Holly in Albury admitted to spitting biscuit crumbs all over the computer monitor. :lol: My attempts at trying to inject some fun on that forum didn't end happily, but it's good to reproduce it in this friendly forum. :)

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My normal experience is a true BFE. That is a BFE in the Aussie sense, so please understand that after I climax, I get up and wipe my dick on the curtains, lie back down, fart and then start snoring.

 

lol :lol:

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Fucken funny all the way through but the last sentence about the aussie bfe pure gold :)

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Ok, so just curious, what happens when the womans cheesy cunt breaks out in a horrific rash after you use the hand sanitiser on her? I know mine would! Although i also know mine smells less of cheese and more of um... A cunt?

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Hand sanitizer as lube? Is that why my kids want me to buy it all the time?

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Given me a good giggle!! I'm thinking hand sanitizer would burn a little and dry up much too fast?? Ha ha tell her to get back in the shower, nothing worse than bad hygiene :unsure:

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