XYZ at Tugs 'R Us has been working on my sore back and we are getting along just fine – in a totally legit massage way. XYZ is probably over sixty and actually closer to seventy. This friendly, giggly Asian lady with no English can administer an old-school Asian beating. I don't look forward to it at all, because of the pain, but then I do get drug-free pain relief for nearly a week. Sold!

To my surprise, it turns out she is also a Genius at handjobs. I wasn't horny at all but she changed my mind with her Mysterious Eastern Occult Powers.

We are only half way through the legit massage, and she uses the usual sneaky foreign tricks to get me hard. I'm in a funny mood and I'm very surprised to see the Traitor Down Below giving her a friendly wave.

XYZ giggles, wraps my member in the modesty towel, then closes her eyes and says a little prayer over him. Her lips move and everything. I would love to know what she was saying. That's really a first for me! At the end of the prayer she bows her head slightly a few times, and then gives him a little pat through the towel.

Then XYZ continues the legit massage for another thirty minutes. The pain from the rub allows The Traitor to go back to sleep. Phweeew!

At the end of the massage she returns to Mr Thingy. I don't get the hots for seventy year old Asian women often, so when Mr Thingy slumbers on I'm relieved.

XYZ smiles and then starts to work me with warm oil. I've had a lot of handjobs but this lady knows about cock. I'm teetering on the edge of the decision, do I say “Stop please!” ?

She uses several fancy new hand techniques I never felt before. Feeeeeeeeellllllsss goooood!

Ok lets just roll with it.

I close my eyes and leave her in complete charge of proceedings.

I feel her climbing on the table. Eye open, is she going to try and sex me? That would be going too far – maybe. Probably.

no, No, NO, it would be going too far! There's never a Policeman around when you need one.

She is mounting my nearest leg, and kneels on it in a sort-of warrior woman pose. She starts humping my lower leg while tugging my Traitor with both her hands. I'm sliding up and down the table a little as she fucks my shin with her Grandma bits...

….and then it's all over Red Rover!

I'm stunned, relaxed, giggly, shy. I pay the lady, get dressed and start to leave.

As I'm leaving I can already see which of the ladies at the shop already know what XYZ just did for me. All those hugely grinning brown faces. P30 (little cutie – no HJ's) mouth is hanging open and she is staring at XYZ's face as she listens to XYZ explain. Well at least I'm not the only one in the shop still catching-up.

I have a bit of a kinky streak. No denying it. Sometimes I surprise myself though. Didn't count on the walk of shame at the end.

All still a bit funny! Happy hunting.