It saddens me when complete strangers & ignorant people feel entitled to judge me, based purely on my chosen occupation. There's an inherent assumption that since I've chosen to be a prostitute - rather than being clubbed, dragged onto a boat & chained to the bed as a sex slave - I must have something wrong with me.
Oh, what a can of worms that could prove to be! Ex partners, former friends, bitter ex colleagues, my sad hag neighbour & even ActewAGL could all line up to shock you with stories of why I’m a menace to society. However, my main beef centres around people who point fingers based on my choice of occupation. At the end of the day, I am a person who does a job, & does it well.
It may come as a huge surprise to some people that I am NOT addicted to narcotics, an alcoholic, a molestation survivor or mentally ill (not in a major way. The voices only talk to me LOL). I have actually completed a tertiary education, & have survived a number of years in both marriage & ‘gainful’ employment (both the same thing, really). It was at a certain point in my life that I realised we are all whores – we just have different prices.
Some housewives I've met are nothing more than cosseted whores. For the job of keeping house, raising kids & sucking cock, some women are kept like housepets. The same with some employees. I'm sure we've all done things we'd much rather NOT do in order to fulfill obligations. That is why it's called 'work'. In essence, this is like spiritual prostitution.
I have met people who are supposed pillars of the community. However, behind closed doors, they are some of the worst addicts, abusers & deviats known to mankind. A case in point is John Wayne Gacy. Prior to his little sideline 'fetish' coming to light, the guy was hailed as a true man of the people. He even had his photo taken with the then-First Lady, Roslyn Carter. If only she knew then... I bet she scoured that hand for months.
I have a friend who is extremely bitter that she has ended up down the whore highway. She believes herself to have been cheated out of a married, urbane existence with a suitably fat, balding nobody. She desperately craves the status of middle-class homemaker, complete with matching baby. The fact that life has not panned out this way leaves her livid. How dare God cheat her this way!
For years, I suffered the urbane existence, a shadow in a world of nothingness. I ended up positively LOATHING the person I was married to, I couldn’t stand the people I worked with, & the person in the mirror became the enemy - a creature I once swore I would never become. I detested everyone around me. Only my children gave me hope for a brighter future.
Then one day... I woke up. I decided to take control & cut away the deadwood. My life warranted a sea change. This accomplished - with quite a few trials & tribulations along the way - I am now reborn into a person I am proud to be. I am a maverick, a sexy, sassy femme fatale & the strongest person I know. I have survived through the deaths of family, friends & lovers, abuse & torment, fear & uncertainty, ridicule & abandonment.
I like who I am. I like what I do. I love my children, & they love me. I choose my friends for who they are, not what they can bring me. We all need to be loved, or at least I do. The reality is like being a spy or gangster – the loneliness can be suffocating.
I want to be truthful & honest about who I am. I am an Aries, after all! However, I resort to making up a bullshit fantasy life for any potential lover, because you KNOW that the truth will see them running for the door. In the past, those who attracted me the most were the ones least likely to handle my job. It is only through long, bitter experience that I've learnt to sort the wheat from the chaff when it comes to personal playtime!
One of my favourite clients (an ex industry worker) told me recently: “Roxanne, it takes a special man who can love a sex worker. The ability to put aside your ego to be with someone who makes others happy is a true talent”.
Oh, Jack. You have no idea how right you are. Thank you for seeing ME.