First of all, I made 2 blogs don't know how and can't delete the other one. Great start for a first time blogger.

Why did i start this, well I wanted people to know how I feel about my life, punting and women in general.

1. LIFE:

First of all you should know I'm single and would NEVER punt if I was married, I don't judge those who do but I wouldn't. I have been single for 43 years and I'm 43 years old so do the Math. Yes I am one of those rare guys who has Never had a GF. Why??????? I'm not ugly, well I don't think so, perhaps it is the TOTAL shyness around women. I have been on MANY 1st dates and not many second dates. I did go out with one girl for about 3 weeks and about 6 dates and nothing happened, I didn't know how to close the deal She decided not to see me and used an excuse that she was going over seas for 6 months, I saw her 2 months later, she said nothing.

I can relate a lot to the movie 40 year old virgin except I'm not a virgin, I punt. Here is the really sad thing if i didn't punt I would be the 43 year old virgin. The thing is I have had more female friends in my life than men but when I've tried to take the next step I get those horrible words. "your a nice guy but I only want to be friends." ARGHHHHHHHH there goes another dagger into my heart. The thing is, I am a nice guy. I'm friendly, polite, funny and a gentleman but that does not get you the girl, trust me I know!!!!! I don't think it is the whole bad boy thing but more a macho thing that the women want and that is not me. If anyone has tried to change there personality it's soooooooo hard because you have to override your natural instincts. So trying to be something your not is hard unless you are an actor.

So thanks to WL's around Australia and 1 in England I'm not a total loser. Now I know that a lot of WL fake it, and say what you want to hear and that makes you feel good for a little while but in the long run you need genuine support and loving this does not come from a punt. What I get from a punt now is companionship and warmth for a few hrs, it use to be about sex now I want more. I guess that comes with age. I've started to believe that love is not real, yet I see it all around me but can not feel it. Can it be real if you have never experienced it? I've thought I've been in love but it needs to go 2 ways so I guess i was in LUST. At one point I fell for a WL, I was a regular and I thought there was something there, she treated me better than anyone ever has but I was fooling myself and just so lonely and desperate, yes I said it I was desperate. It is almost impossible for anyone else to know how it feels to be in my situation. You feel worthless, no body wants you or loves you your whole life, if there was something wrong with me physically that turned people away it would be easier to cope with as I'd know what is was but it is not. I get really pissed of when I see on tv murders wife's and girl friends leave court etc.. Fuck even a Fucken arsehole mass murderer has a partner, how bad am I going. Don't get me wrong I'd never want any of those women, I'm not that desperate.

I question sometimes if this is not a bad joke being played on me by the universe and everybody is laughing at how the nice easygoing not so bad looking shy guy never gets the girl. Ok joke is over, ha ha, now where is she? Seriously, where is she?

Well until she comes along I have punting, beautiful women who will do all sorts of wild and crazy things to me not matter how I look as long as I have the cash. The one thing they won't do is Love me. Well 2 out of 3 aint bad.